So who am I and what do I do? For starters I’m a Norwegian, and with my astounding set of genetics, I don’t look it, but I am 26 years of age. Beyond that I am an individual with a creative mind and a desire to express myself visually, verbally, by sound, by print, by image, any sort of medium I can get my hands on, i’ll be interested to see what I can do with.
In those 25 years, I’ve experienced a greate many things, but since 2013, the highs have been far between. I left college because I hated it at the time, I hadn’t read up enough on what I was getting myself into, and once I was in it and had paid the tuition. It dawned on me that it was not what I wanted to do.
Since then, I was grasping at straws, working myself to the bone physically and mentally to try and preserve a comfortable living. Working part time jobs, substitions, anything I could do to keep money coming in and the overbearing pressure of getting by at bay.
My lowest point I can remember without a single shred of a doubt, was one day in I believe may/June of 2013. I was working a maintenance job for a company that rented out equipment to build houses. And while surrounded by Germans that hardly spoke a word of Norwegian. The most intelligent thing they could ask me to do, was brush the dust of the floor in this carpenter style workshop. While in the background, a former class mate of mine has made a hit song and it was blarring from the radio in the corner of the place. I was a failure. I had all the darker thoughts swirling in my mind, I wasn’t particularly approachable, I just put on a brave face as I went to work. Id go home and hide in my room, just sitting there with my computer in my lap, hating my circumstances, people, bills, gas, toll plazas, hours of driving, but most of all, myself.
At this point, I’m sure most will be readying themselves to read the big positive turn in my life, how I went from zero to hero, how it all turned around and how I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. But nay.
Admittedly I am in a much happier place now then I have been in my entire adult life. But Its been a fight this entire way. Life doesn’t work out like the cliches people will have you believe. My circumstances and problems I’m ultimately responsible for myself, and so I have fought, learned and expirienced life by doing this as best I can with the hand I’m dealt. I’m a patient person, but more than once since I dropped out my patience has taken a hit. Particularily in the period of late 2014 until August 2018 While I was working a job in a business I’m passionate about, but for the most deplorable human being i’ve ever had the despair of working for.
In that period I developed a wretched temper, and a very unhealthy mindset. I actually had a brush with the E.R in that period as well because my heart messed up on me, and now in my medical journal it states that I hated working where i did for the guy I did, and that my reason for even going to the emergency room that day could likely have been caused by that.
It got to a point where I realized “I’m not getting anywhere doing this.” «Im tearing myself to shreds for this guy and this business» and thought “Do I really want to keep fighting to make ends meet, hate myself, my favourite fandom, and my circumstances until I retire?” No was the answer.
Luckily for me, despite what every other son in the world will tell you. I hands down have the best mother and father in the world. And my Mother seeing, hearing and understanding full well that I wasn’t happy with anything, blindsided me with the best suggestion I have received in my adult life. “Have you ever looked into studying abroad?”
I had not considered that viable. Yet here I sit at a computer in Winchester England. 4 weeks into my second semester of what has been the best, and only second most expensive decision in my life. (so far) I applied only one place, I only wanted in one place. and wrote the most passionate letter I can remember writing about wanting to go. And the application process, that was said would take 6-8 weeks to get back to me. It took 3 days, before they gave me an unconditional offer to come study. The ensuing 8 months, I said nothing about it to my boss and co workers, my boss at the time was a flat out asshole so why should I tell him anything before i need to?
I was supposed to deliver the resignation on the 1st of may, But because the lousy bastard had pissed me off a little extra one day, I gave my notice on the 19th of april. The absolute relief as I walked out on july 31st as a “free man” as palpable. To cap off however, this guy snubbed me on money I had worked 30 hours extra over a weekend to earn. Once I had it in writing he was intending to not pay me the money, I wrote a fiery email stating what I wanted to say to him for the longest, and closed out with 5 words Jim Cornette had sequenced together. “Thank you, Fuck you, Bye”.
We didnt speak for a while until one day, he texted me and apologized, and paid me back. Lesson to be learned, cuss at your employer, it pays more.
Since then i have been focusing on me, what I’m doing at Uni, and what my future will look like, and thats what this entire page, and my website is all about. how I progress from the point I’ve just discussed and beyond.