What a strange time we live in, and what an odd scenario to find myself in. I came to Winchester in 2018 to study and get my degree in media, through means that i most certainly thought would be traditional, Never in my wildest imagination could i have anticipated that my third year, effectively the most important year of my studies, and of my life to this point, would be muddled by a worldwide health pandemic. But here we are.
Yesterday the third year begun, and speaking straight from the heart here. this doesn’t feel right, i’ve always had those days when a new semester at any level begins, that i have a nervous energy, some jitters and some butterflies, because i’m about to embark on a new challenge that will work to improve how i think, how i act, behave, teach me new things, meet faces new and old from the previous years or that have just joined in. Its an exciting time, every time.
However. That feeling didn’t turn up yesterday, for what possibly is my last year of studies. i woke up at 1-2, i went on the infrastructural tool we use in Winchester for our teachings and information, and found the session that was recorded live at 10AM, when i should have been awake and participated live. i watched ten minutes, and then the thought and the feeling really sunk in, “wow, i’m paying an extraordinary amount of money for this, and i’m just not into it. Fuck.” Thats not to take away from the institution of Winchester, or the lecturer that had to try and be a conduit of information in less than normal lecturing time. With covid looming, they are doing their best to still provide a good product for all students with the means they have available. I appreciate the effort, but sitting at home, essentially being left holding the bag in times like these, its constantly working to the detriment of motivation and finance.
So rather than sit at home and pout to myself about how i feel this year is going to be, myself, my fiancée and another housemate opted to go to Southampton and spend a day having some fun together. and we did. even throughout that though, most of my thought process went towards a question that kept me awake until about 4-5 this morning, and even woke me up at 7. “what do i do?” Is it better to take a sandwich year, pay the fee for that and take a year to do something else whilst the pandemic hopefully eases off, either in the UK or in Norway? Do i stay and fight this detrimental force that is the pandemic ruining my experience as a student? am i right in feeling this way? What ever is a better solution?
All of these feelings and questions, i believe students in a similar situation will come to combat this year. That feeling that all you do from week to week is sit on your ass and do nothing at home, watch a lecture, take some notes, but ultimately, theres little substance, Little to inspire and motivate you to keep going. So why do it really?
I believe quite firmly that everyone will come to their own solutions on this matter. My solution after a lot of deliberations, intrusive thoughts, some tears and tough thinking last night, came to be a solution this morning when i woke up. I have to make my own worth. I have to once again not rely on anyone or anything, the same core principle that i created Kings Eyes.Life on, i now have to properly implement in my studies to make sure this is a success. This academic year as mentioned is the most important of my life. a hurdle the size of covid is intimidating, and troublesome to have ruin what would otherwise have been an excellent year of studies.
A slight digression here, as i sit here and write, the old intro music for my old show “Mornings With Kings eyes” begun playing in my headphones at random. I felt a smile begin to form on the side of my otherwise crooked mouth. Because that period when the show begun, i was at possibly my most motivated with the website and in life really. I felt that one glimmer of motivation that i haven’t felt since before the strikes and pandemic came in and ruined life for the majority of us and me for 6 months. Thoughts begun swirling on how to improve and better my current show “I Got Lucky With Kings Eyes”
I digress. what i said about making my own worth. That means now is the time to step on the gas, prior to beginning writing this post, i have watched an hour long lecture, consumed a power point presentation, and written 2 pages of notes about documentaries. Which will be a practical assignment later in the year, i want to do this every weekday to try and make the absolute most out of the year ahead of me and really focus in on studies, consume as much as possible of the stuff i am to learn, and become good at something, but best at anything. is that slogan confusing by the way? It essentially means that its always good to have some knowledge and proficiency with things in life, but with effort, training and focus, you can accomplish, learn, master or otherwise become the best at anything in life that you set out to do. I’m not one to toot my own horn too much, but have a look around the website, it looks and operates well at this point doesn’t it? will it then blow your mind to say that prior to putting this thing together, i had exactly no experience doing web design? and now i have companies that are the top of their industry contacting me wanting me to create their websites for them. This serves as the greatest motivator to keep going with my multimedia business, creating sites, but rather, creating experiences for the consumers of these companies. I look forward to getting that ball rolling. before that though, i gotta structure out my weeks more so i have working hours between such and such, and relaxing/ focusing on other stuff at other times. Its an exciting time again finally.
Thank you for tolerating my rambling nonsense that this post became, and thank you for enjoying The Kings Eyes Life!