Im a dumb motherf****!

So ive gotten three days into this challenge, and already i’ve realised just how little discipline im left with over my own days and routine. I seek fixing myself and getting up to shape by my own determination and discipline, yet several days in a row now, ive set myself a bunch workouts im going to do. and then go on to do fuck all because other things happen, such as visitors, housemates returning, and youtube videos that caught my interest and turned into cooking food and playing video games for a night. Its not what i should be doing and i recognise that, and im pissed of at it, genuinely so. i sure as fuck speak a lot of gaga in public and back up none of it when its crunch time, Why am i bullshitting myself like this?! My honest guess is that quite frankly, it isnt a case of can or can’t. Its a case of trying to break my old routine that has consisted truly of eating a bunch of shit, and being online. not unlike right now. though this post mainly is to call myself out on my bullshit. I was so quick to brag and boast online and on this page that i was doing it, and felt the positive empowerment it provided, but when push should have
become shove, it became a nudge. And God dammit, im 27 years old this year.

I keep going on instagram and catch glimpses of bodies of guys like Dwayne Johnson, Henry Cavill, John Cena, @Kamiloo, Calum Von Moger. And feel an acidous envy at what they have, then thinking about how they got that, it wasnt by way of cheats or sitting on their ass, it was by going out of their way to mold themselves into their successful and healthy forms, and here i am, a skinny-fat fuck with a big mouth and way little poise than noise. Its going to be a tougher battle and a tougher climb than i initially anticipated, but now i have said im winning this damn thing, and anything i set my mind to, ill do. Heck look at this website. Top to bottom my own content on my own platform and made by me from the bare bones provided by wordpress and the7 with no instruction. Thats what will can do, and if i can put my mind to web design this way, especially with how greek that was to me when i started with wordpress.  Then i can mold myself to be that same shape as any of those guys. i just gotta be better about grabbing myself at the hairs of my neck and not letting unproductive moments turn into hours, and then days.

Tomorrow i’m going to post another post on this page, with three images on them, the images will be the results of three different workouts, one almost an hour long, and 2 shorter ones that focus on core strength. All dated from today. Thats my goal for the next day. And also to set the cogs in motion to hopefully get my personal computer back in action quickly. As i currently have to walk 30 minutes to the university anytime i want to do anything remotely productive on the website.

Side note, check out this post where i tried DDP’s Chicken salad recipe and was so positively surprised with what it tasted it like, that for the first time in 8-9 years i made my own lunch to bring to uni. and have more ready at home for brunch or to grub on. comes highly highly recommended!

Now let me try again!